+ How to do Stuff
+ 2024-10-03
+
+ I have a lot of trouble doing stuff. Unfortunately, this world
+ demands stuff be done. Even opperating at a bare minimum
+ capacity, as a hikineet, eventually you will run out of plates to eat
+ off and have to clean, eventually you have to cook, eventually etc. Even
+ if your personal hygeine standards lie below the socially accepted
+ average, you still have to do stuff. Those things constitute
+ "chores". Chores are stuff you don't want to do. But even stuff you do
+ want to do is hard to actually do sometimes. This is a post about what
+ that means and how (maybe) to do that stuff.
+
+
+ I'm not sure if I have adhd or whatever. The doctors recomended against
+ going through the process to get a diagnosis, since I am already
+ diagnosed with autisim, and apparently having both is very rare. This
+ sounds like bullshit to me just from meeting people, and it also sounds
+ like bullshit from me who has read that "50 to 70% of individuals with
+ autism spectrum disorder (ASD) also present with comorbid attention
+ deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)"
+ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8918663/. On the one hand if I were diagnosed with adhd I might be able to get
+ some medicine to help. On the other hand who gives a shit.
+
+
+ This is not a post about adhd or whatever, this is a post about 2
+ things. Firstly, the difference between wanting something, and wanting
+ to want something. Secondly, how that barrier might be crossed.
+
+
+ But first, we have to talk about parallel universes. No actually we have
+ to talk about doing stuff. I believe that it's very rare for
+ people to be able to do stuff just by doing stuff, in other words,
+ through force of will. In this case let's say stuff reffers to
+ tasks requiring long term consistency. The common ones are probably
+ dieting and working out. That kind of stuff. No one does that
+ just by force of will, supposedly. The opinion seems to be that you need
+ to "make it a habit". You can find a million self help nonsense posts
+ and books and podcasts and whatever else about forming "healthy" habits.
+ I'm not convinced I've ever formed a habit that wasn't chemical in my
+ life. Tooth brushing is often touted as a habit that everyone has. I
+ don't have that as a habit, I have to remember every day, and it feels
+ like a slog every day, and I forget to do it, and sometimes I skip it on
+ purpose and I feel completely fine. Perhaps washing my hands after I go
+ to the bathroom is the only real habit I posses. It actually fits the
+ description of habits that I've heard, that you do it "automatically",
+ and that you might feel "weird" if you don't do it. So building habits
+ is never going to happen. I can do something for months using a phone
+ alarm or some other method which forces me into a certain behaviour, and
+ it doesn't ever become like washing my hands, the second I take away the
+ external factor it goes away. So willpower is out, habit is out, the
+ only thing that remains is "passion".
+
+
+ I think this is the real way to do stuff, you just have to be
+ genuinely passionate about doing that thing. Of course one can loose
+ passion about a certain thing. It's definitely happened to me before,
+ sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently. It seems passion is a
+ fickle thing. Well that's inconvenient. Also, the extent to which one
+ gets to choose one's own passions is slim. It seems like they somehow
+ appear from the ether at random.
+
+
+ This is what "wanting to want something" is. More accurately it might be
+ split into two sub-types, "wanting to have done x", and "wanting to be
+ the kind of person who wants x". For example, I genuinely want to be the
+ world's greatest demoman player in team fortress 2. In fact I want it so
+ bad that I played that game far too intensely and put far too much
+ pressure on myself to improve and succeed, to the point where it was
+ having negative effects on my mental health and I have made the decision
+ to stop playing that game for the time being. On the other hand, I want
+ to have lost some weight, but I don't actually want to lose weight,
+ because I don't want to go through the process of dieting. Although in
+ that case, I'm actually presently doing somewhat ok on that course so it
+ might be a bad example (focussing purely on portion control is what's
+ helped). And on the other other hand, I want to be the kind of person
+ who wants to play old jrpgs, but the thing is that I've played a few old
+ jrpgs and I haven't really had much fun doing it. But I want to be the
+ kind of person who enjoys those games.
+
+
+ This is not helped by the fact that I'm the sort of person who likes to
+ dive into the deep end on anything I do. I find half measures a little
+ condescending. I'm gonna make a weird comparisson here, but here it is.
+ When trying to get people into anime, often times people recommend this
+ new viewer to watch cowboy bebop, akira, and studio ghibli movies. The
+ thing is, if they watch and enjoy those things, then congratulations,
+ they are now into anime that is absolutely nothing like the vast
+ majority of anime. You tried to ween them in on the stuff that is
+ "traditionally good", that represents the aspects of the medium most
+ familiar to popular western media, when that is absolutely not
+ representative of the medium as a whole. So they're not really into
+ anime at all, they're still just into western media. I want to recomend
+ people the most average but fairly popular show that is actually
+ representative of anime as it exists. Not sure what that would be it
+ would depend on the person but do you see what I mean. That's how I got
+ into anime (the first show I watched was chuunibyou demo koi ga shitai).
+ So when I want to dive into jrpgs, I think I should start at the level
+ of jrpgs that actually represent the medium properly, but are also
+ appealing to outsiders. Thankfully, Dragon Quest XI exists. But not
+ everything in life has it's respective Dragon Quest XI.
+
+
+ The thing that I've coming to realise is that passion is not as out of
+ our control as I had thought. The way you control your own passion is
+ through the time honoured adage of "fake it till you make it". If you
+ want to be the kind of person who wants x, just pretend to be the "x
+ wanter" person, and act as they would. It's easier for things that don't
+ suck. I can immagine the kind of person who cleans their house more
+ regularly than me, they have a whole different set of social pressures
+ that I don't have. They might care about their reputation when inviting
+ people over, they might invite the kind of people over who would judge
+ them for having an unclean house. I lack that social pressure. This
+ makes it difficult.
+
+
+ I used to be very averse to "pointless melodrama" or "unearned pathos"
+ in anime. But I started to change my outlook. They must keep doing this
+ because people like it, let me just pretend to be the kind of person who
+ I immagine would become emotionally invested in that kind of highschool
+ melodrama storyline that does nothing for me. So that's what I started
+ doing. Rather than demanding the story change for me, I tried to change
+ for the story. And it partially worked. After a while of doing this,
+ these kinds of anime tone shift highschool bullshit melodrama were much
+ more tollerable and sometimes quite enjoyable or emotionally affecting.
+ So pretending have passion might be the way to do things.
+
+
+ Again it's hard to actually say, and even harder to actually do, but
+ that's just the discoveries I've made so far. Slowly emotionally
+ manipulate yourself into feeling passionate about something and if you
+ roll lucky, you might actually develop that passion. The issue is that
+ passions fade, and they can be hard to rekindle. Especially on the
+ "chore" side of the stuff spectrum. I have not solved this
+ problem yet but I will let you know when I make progress.
+
+
+ t. a man who recently bought an excersise bike for way too much money
+ and is trying not to let that purchase go to waste.
+
+
+
+
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+
+
+ "How to do Stuff"
+ Assigned Reading or Whatever
+ 2025-07-25T22:20Z
+
+
+
+ Please go read "How to do Stuff" by n0thanky0u.
+
+
+ Here's a copy I host, just in case
+
+
+ After I read it myself, I promptly monologued about it to the nearest
+ friend of mine in meat-space (sitting right behind me doing his own
+ thing). Much appreciated to him (and the other friends I later
+ monologued to) for indulging me, lmao.
+
+
+ I forgot that I could share these feelings on my site, and send my
+ opinions into the void lol
+
+
+ I actually read it quite a bit ago, and so my memory of the specifics
+ of what n0 said is hazy. However, I remember feeling incredibly seen
+ and happy to hear that someone else shared many of my views regarding
+ action and doing stuff.
+
+
+ Instead of rambling on it myself (at least for now; I love talking). I
+ will instead ask you to go there!
+
+ That's it. Bye!
+
+
'Full Spec'
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